‘Cash, check or charge?’ the store clerk asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the clerk noticed a remote control for a television in her purse. ‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ she asked.
‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come shopping with me again, and I figured this was the most hateful thing I could do to him legally.’
Hate, it seems to be everywhere you look these days. I witnessed it in full glory last Saturday as I’m watching my nephew’s sectional wrestling meet. I sat amazed as the entire gym full of schools cheered wildly against every wrestler of one team (a very successful team).
In the lobby at a break I saw a father of a wrestler from the “hated” school. He had an unusual t-shirt on, surrounded by blue and yellow graphics, it read, “Haters Welcome.”
“What’s your shirt say,” I asked while smiling. “It says ‘Haters Welcome’ – I liked to wear it back when I was coaching because when we had haters, I knew we were on the right track.”
Now, I realize a fair amount of people don’t understand why someone would enjoy wearing a t-shirt that says, in effect, “I love haters.” But successful people readily understand you cannot get where you want to go in life if you’re addicted to the approval of others. To be successful, you must be independent of the good and bad opinions of others. To completely fit in with the masses, to attempt to garner the approval of 100 percent of everyone, is to commit emotional suicide.
One of the chief hallmarks of a successful human being is his skill at letting criticism roll off his back. If you receive feedback that is helpful, you’d be ignorant to tune it out completely. But if the feedback isn’t real feedback, but rather a personal attack (based on jealousy), then you are better off ignoring it.
Having a wall of emotional protection around you is a good idea. No one truly succeeds without this wall – and t-shirts that proclaim “I love haters” are wonderful because they remind you and the world that your mission in life is NOT to please everyone. It cannot be done.
Being IMMUNE to the criticism of others, though, is the second step. It’s not the first. The first step is to stop criticizing yourself. Stop brow-beating yourself, putting yourself down, telling yourself you can’t. If you’re against YOU, it’s hard for others to be for you.
Ironically, when you’re true to yourself, when you no longer concern yourself with how many people like or dislike you, that’s when you not only perform, act and work at your best, it’s when more people than ever jump on the band wagon and want to be around you.
As we continue to build Tama County’s economy, LET THE HATERS HATE while we focus on the people who are happy to see our success instead of being jealous of it.