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Taking Directions

When Johnny was learning to drive in the winter, his Dad told him, “If you’re ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it.” One cold, snowy night, Johnny got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, he couldn’t see any street […]

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Urgency

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. The devil decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” […]

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Suggestion Box

A young ventriloquist puts on a show in a small rural Iowa town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman from the audience stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you […]

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The Experiment

A fourth-grade class had a science experiment where 4 earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes: 1st in beer, 2nd in wine, 3rd in whiskey, 4th in mineral water The next day, the teacher shows the results: The 1st worm in beer, is dead. The 2nd in wine, is dead. The 3rd in whiskey, […]

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Circumstances

J.W. had been so busy at work that he forgot his wedding anniversary AGAIN (the 10th time in 14 years).  After 3 days of his wife not speaking to him, he decided to make a valiant attempt to get back on her better side. J.W. purred, “Honey, I’d like to buy you a new SUV.” “I […]

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The Hard Truth

A blonde decides she’s sick of hearing all of these jokes about her hair color and wants a fresh start. So she dyes her hair brown, packs up her stuff and starts driving across the country. Driving along, she sees a huge bunch of sheep crossing the road. With no way to go around them, […]

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Vow to Learn

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ well, I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that […]

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Reality Check

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to […]

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Accountability

A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, “What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.” So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar […]

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The Test

An older couple had a son who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test.  They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the […]

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