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Get Involved in Your Community

A guy is walking through the desert when he meets three men going the other way. One is drinking out of a water bottle, one is looking at his phone and the third one is dragging a car door. He stops to talk to them. “Why are you guys out here?” he asked. “Our car […]

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Population Trends

A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him. […]

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Get Involved

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along pretty well. One day he rushed to a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances […]

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Change is Good

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, “Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk looks back and says, “Yess, Preacher … I sure am.” […]

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Ignorance is Bliss

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders, accompanied by two lady teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with […]

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Accountability

A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, “What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.” So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar […]

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The Duck Bill

A woman carried her very sick duck into the veterinary office.  As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.  After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”  The distressed woman […]

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Lost the Magic

A group of three friends are on the Eiffel Tower.  Suddenly one of them suggests a crazy idea — “Let’s throw our watches off the side of the tower and try to catch them at the bottom! Whoever manages to do it first gets $100 from each of the other two of us!” The first […]

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Bird’s Eye View

A penguin walks into a bar.  He goes up to the bartender and says, “Have you seen my father in here today?” The bartender says, “I don’t know……. what does he look like?” Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bay-gulls! Why does a chicken coop […]

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What You Wish For

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”  “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be […]

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