In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship. And because commercial fertilizer had not been invented, large shipments of manure were commonly found on ships. It was shipped dry, because obviously in dry form it weighed a lot less then when wet, but once at sea the moisture in the […]

Hooked on History
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me […]

Opportunity to Change
Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got […]

No Excuse
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds. “You see I have very bad asthma that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then […]

Static
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About ten acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made […]

Time to Buy the Watch
Lester is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks, “Have you got the time?” Lester sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. “It’s a quarter to six,” he says. “Hey, that’s a pretty fancy watch!” exclaims the stranger. […]

A Wild Ride
Jim strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse you’re looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey and the way […]

Ask for the right things
A committed atheist was hiking near the mountains when he became lost in some dense brush. A large angry bear, with three starving cubs back home and claws like kitchen knives, suddenly emerged from the undergrowth. The atheist screamed in terror, turned and ran. The bear was quicker however, and after a long and desperate […]

Lipstick Kisses
A school principal was alerted by the janitor to a persistent problem in the girl’s bathroom: some of the girl students were leaving lipstick kisses on the mirrors. The janitor had left notices on the bathroom walls asking for the practice to cease, but to no avail; every evening the janitor would wipe away the […]