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Taking Directions

When Johnny was learning to drive in the winter, his Dad told him, “If you’re ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it.” One cold, snowy night, Johnny got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, he couldn’t see any street […]

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Suggestion Box

A young ventriloquist puts on a show in a small rural Iowa town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman from the audience stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you […]

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Real Wages and Salaries

There was a man in Bulgarian who drove a train for a living. He loved his job, driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He […]

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Trending Up

During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd: “How many of you forgave your enemies?” Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: “And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?”, and almost everyone’s hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lady in the front row. […]

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Reality Check

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to […]

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A Game of Fools

A Cubs baseball game was over and a highway patrolman noticed that a big group of fans were congregating at a local bar to celebrate an actual victory.  He returned at closing time confident that he would make an arrest.  Sure enough, when the bar closed, the Cubs fans started staggering outside to head home. […]

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Stop Horsing Around

Paul, a jogger, is running down a country road and is startled when a horse yells at him, ‘Hey-come over here buddy.’ Paul is stunned but still runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks, ‘Were you talking to me?’ The horse replies, ‘Sure was, man I’ve got a problem. I […]

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Quick vs. Best

A man goes to prison and the first night while he’s laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, “44!” Followed by laughter from the other prisoners. He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, “72!” Followed by even more laughter. “What’s going on?” he asked his […]

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Round Two

An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man’s milk and spit into it. The […]

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A Fine Appearance

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.” The brand new waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat […]

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