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2014 Q3 P&B Brian Gumm

Ross Street Roasting

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a vile cup of coffee, and as she forced […]

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paddy

Paddy’s Story

An old Irish farm-hand named Paddy was in a terrible accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the giant corporation Acme. In court, Acme’s hot-shot attorney was questioning Paddy. ‘Didn’t you say to the police at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’ asked the attorney. Paddy responded: ‘Well, I’ll tell you what […]

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mousetrap

Building a Better Mousetrap

“Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door” is a phrase attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson in the late nineteenth century. The phrase is actually a misquotation of the statement: If a man has good corn or wood, or boards, or pigs, to sell, or can make better chairs […]

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power words

Power Words

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!” (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins […]

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a tangled web

A Tangled Web

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.  A waitress, taking an order at a nearby table, noticed the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. Amazed, the waitress watched as the man continued, slithering like a snake, slid all the way […]

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woof

Woof

A dog goes into a Western Union office and says to the clerk, “I’d like to send a telegram.” “OK, please write your message on this card,” the clerk replies. The dog struggles to properly grip the pen in between his paws but manages to scribble on the card and hands it back. The clerk […]

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quick vs best

Quick vs. Best

A man goes to prison and the first night while he’s laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, “44!” Followed by laughter from the other prisoners. He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, “72!” Followed by even more laughter. “What’s going on?” he asked his […]

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no respect

No Respect

Jacob Cohen was born on November 22, 1921, in Babylon, New York, the younger of two children. His father abandoned the family shortly after Jacob’s birth, leaving his mother to raise her children alone. To help the family scrape by, Jacob began selling ice cream on the beach and delivering groceries after school. Jacob struggled […]

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a second chance

A Second Chance

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren’t dumb.  They begged: “Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we’re not dumb.” The group caught the attention of a passer-by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on […]

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round two

Round Two

An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man’s milk and spit into it. The […]

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