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A woman was watching t.v. when a breaking news story interrupted her show. A driver was wreaking havoc by driving the wrong way on Interstate 280. She knew her husband took that interstate home from work and immediately called his cell phone to warn him. Wife: Herman are you ok? I saw on the news […]

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Sticks and Stones

The martial arts master spoke to his students: “Tonight I would like to speak to you about wise speech.  Wise speech is that which is truthful, gentle, helpful, spoken from a kind heart and is timely.” Then he spoke at great length about the harm that results from rude, mean spirited, harsh or careless words. […]

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its the spark plugs

It’s the Spark Plugs

A guy’s car breaks down on a rural road on the way to a job interview. He curses his luck, gets out, pops the hood and peers into the smoking engine. After a few moments with no success, he hears someone say “Reckon it’s your spark-plugs, mate.” The man looks up and around, wondering who […]

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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About ten acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made […]

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one hit wonder

One Hit Wonder

According to the editors of Billboard Magazine, a “one-hit wonder” is an act that has won a position on Billboard’s national. Pop Top 40 just one time.  I am sure you remember artists that only hit it big once, like “Kung Fu Fighting” by Carl Douglas in late 1974, or Bobby McFerrin’s 1988 hit “Don’t Worry […]

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the boiling frog

The Boiling Frog

Many have heard the parable of the boiled frog, put a pot of cool water on the stove and then add the frog. Not sensing danger the frog will stay. Slowly as the water warms, the frog relaxes. The warmth feels good. As the water gets hotter it acts like a steam bath draining away […]

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Haymaking Assumptions

A clergyman walking down a country lane sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. “You look hot, my son,” said the minister. “Why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a hand.” “No thanks,” said the young man.  “My father wouldn’t like it.” […]

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Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with Paddy the pilot, and Shamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window. “B’jeesus,” said Paddy, “Will ye look at how short dat runway is.” “You’re not kiddin, Paddy” replied Shamus. “Dis is gonna be one a’ de trickiest […]

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liars figure and figures lie

Liars Figure and Figures Lie

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free drink if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a frog, who immediately jumps over to the piano and starts hopping on the keys and playing a brilliant song. “That IS amazing!” […]

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who you know

Who You Know

Two friends were arguing in a bar one day. Harvey, the first guy, was bragging how he knew everybody. He knew everyone, and everyone knew him. There wasn’t a person that he hadn’t met. Bob, even though he was his good friend, didn’t believe him. “Harvey, you can’t know everyone.” He said. “I bet you […]

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